I don’t know if this keeps you awake at night, restlessly tossing and turning, but I am sometimes kept awake at night, fretting about what I would do during the zombie apocalypse. You know it’s coming. With all of the preservatives in our food, chemicals in our water, and radiation floating around in our air, sooner or later some weird mutant strain of nasty is going to make the dead rise again. Seriously. Look at how long a Twinkie will last in your pantry – at least 50 years, and that spongy snack is still soft and moist. Think of what that yellow cake does to your body after you ingest it!
The trusty, forward thinking Centers for Disease Control and Prevention employees have been hard at work planning for the zombie apocalypse. Perfect timing, since the world is going to end tomorrow. Hop on over to this informative article, and prep that emergency kit so that you have it at hand when you need it the most. I am puzzled that there is no mention of flame throwers, axes, or baseball bats, but perhaps the CDC does not want to encourage acts of aggression against marauding zombies by a bunch of newbies, but it’s going to be every man for himself, so make sure you do stock up on torches, fuels to keep the flames burning, and plenty of blunt-edged weapons.
If all else fails, head to the nearest zombie-proof safe house, and hope that the current occupants admit you. And that they haven’t succumbed to the zombie plague….