Vordak, Supervillain Extraordinaire, has recently released a guide book for world domination. Using his considerable experience, he offers advice for would-be world rulers in his new book Vordak the Incomprehsible: How to Grow up and Rule the World. Vordak dropped by the virtual offices to chat up his book and his theories on how to become the best supervillain you can be.
Describe yourself in 140 characters or less.
Vordak: Handsome, handsome, handsome, handsome, handsome, handsome, brilliant, handsome, handsome, handsome. Including this, that makes exactly 140.
What inspired you to share your methodology for ruling the world?
Vordak: I’m tired. I’m no spring chicken and my Helmet of Disconcertment has really started to wreak havok on my neck. I would prefer to pass my incalculable knowledge on within the Incomprehensible lineage, but, due to an unfortunate shrink-ray accident, I am unable to have evil children of my own.
Why do you want to rule the world?
Vordak: Oh, but I don’t! I think I make that perfectly clear in the book. I want my years of Supervillain experience to aid some young person in their quest to Grow Up and Rule the World. All I ask in return is that they sign a harmless little agreement that affords me the position of Second in Command. Of course, I would take command of the planet in the event that individual were to meet his unexpected demise by means of plutonium injection, being encased in cement and dropped into the Mariana Trench, having their body sucked dry of all fluids by a giant, mutated spider and so on, but, honestly, what are the chances of anything like that happening?
Aren’t you a little concerned about all of the stress involved in world domination?
Vordak: As I said, the chances of me RULING THE WORLD are quite slim. But, if something like that ever would come to pass, for example by accident, I have a pebble fountain and one of those rubber balls full of sand to squeeze.
How long have you been plotting your world takeover?
Vordak: Up until my recent retirement, I had spent my entire life plotting planetary plunder – from my very first day, when I organized the hospital nursery into an Infallible Infant Infantry. Unfortunately, the lack of ability for any of us to move made our infantry more fallible than I had anticipated.
What were the major obstacles preventing you from achieving your goal?
Vordak: Oh, that’s easy – my arch-nemesis, Commander Virtue. I can’t begin to tell you the number of times I came painfully close (19) to RULING THE WORLD only to have that leotard-laden lackwit gum up the works – including the time he destroyed my Atmosphere Disintegrator by literally throwing a wad of gum into it.
It’s obvious that you can’t do this on your own, so what is the number one quality you look for in potential minions?
Vordak: Are you familiar with the old adage, “Quality over Quantity?” Knowing you, probably not. Well, you can throw that old adage out the window where minions are concerned. About all they have to offer, really, are their sheer numbers. That and a lack of intelligence and ambition, which ensures they will do any ridiculous task you demand of them.
Who is your biggest supporter in your plan to take over the world?
Vordak: Well, if I WAS interested in taking over the world, and I’m certainly not saying that I am, my biggest supporter would be me, Vordak the Incomprehensible. And also the most handsome. But second would be my dog, Armageddon. He knows there is a dramatic upgrade in biscuits coming his way when, er…if I eventually succeed. That is, if I actually was trying to succeed. Or if I considered conquering the planet as “success” in the first place, since I really have no interest in that particular endeavor.
What do you like to do when you aren’t plotting a global takeover?
Vordak: I like to garden.
Thank you, Vordak, for stopping by to talk about your new book.
You can learn more about Vordak at his website, and you can follow him on Twitter. You can purchase How to Grow Up and Rule the World from the widget below, or just by visiting your local book seller.