Today I have a special guest! Please welcome Pandora Wyatt, who will give guidance on what NOT to do on a pirate ship.
Five Things Never to do Aboard a Pirate Ship
Written by Pandora Wyatt from
TANGLED HEARTS by Heather McCollum
Hello! My name is Pandora or Dory (which I prefer as the latter refers to the infamous box). I was raised upon the pirate ship, Queen Siren, captained by my adopted father, Captain Bartholomew Wyatt. Before my mother died after giving birth to me aboard his ship, she pleaded with him not to take me back to England. Despite his roguish appearance, Captain Bart is a gentleman and was already in the habit of rescuing wee ones, so he honored her request.
Being the only girl on a ship of rough pirates could have been disastrous for the usual English miss, but my new family quickly found out that I have a magical way of being quite un-usual.
I’m here today to give you a bit of helpful advice if you ever find yourself on the decks of an infamous ship, surrounded by leagues of ocean, blood-thirsty sharks, and a crew of swarthy pirates.
Don’t stay on deck with the riff-raff. I learned to climb high into the rigging early on. Being small and limber it was easy to weave my way up into the nets and lines. I learned to be useful up there tying laces and mending sails. It’s really the only place for a person to be alone onboard a ship of 20 men. And it smells much better.
Don’t avoid confrontation. You are stuck with these blokes for weeks on end. You can’t hide away from or avoid a problem when you keep running into it. It’s better to get the issue out into the open before it festers and explodes. With my umm…talents, when I explode it isn’t pretty. So I advise airing annoyances early on so the idiot can change his behavior before the claws come out.
Don’t assume everyone feels about you the same way you feel about them. Will Wyatt was raised with me, but we aren’t blood related. I love him…like a brother. He apparently felt a little less brotherly/sisterly toward me and tried to kiss me. He being big and brawn, I had to convince him quickly that I would never feel the same way. When my ear-curling curses didn’t stop him, my blade in the obvious problem did. Lucky for him, I have a magical blue light that can heal him right up, that is as long as I don’t cut it completely off. He’s been warned.
Don’t get completely naked to take a bath. That might be obvious, but I think I should throw that one out there. Taking a bath is strange enough to most of the crew, but there isn’t much privacy on ship and you’re more likely to be walked in upon than not. I’ve been known to take a sliver of soap up into the riggings with me during a rain storm, but again, I’m not naked. The clothes get washed right along with me.
Don’t turn down food, especially anything cooked by Will Wyatt. He has a way with spices that will make you drool. Also, you need food to keep up your energy, and energy is something you need on board ship. The men, the storms, the constant need to keep your balance, the battles – they will wear you down to a whittled stick if you don’t keep sustenance coming in. So if you find yourself captured by pirates, don’t get all hoity-toity and refuse their food. It might just keep you alive.
Thanks so much for having Dory on today! For more of her candor, you can follow her adventure as she takes on a sexy Highlander and King Henry VIII in my 16th century romp, TANGLED HEARTS. Have a lovely, strong-steady-breezes-to-fill-your-sails kind of week ahead! Heather McCollum (www.HeatherMcCollum.com )
About the Book
Author: Heather McCollum
Release Date: January 28, 2014
Publisher: Entangled Select
The Tudors take on The Pirates of the Caribbean in this 16th century romantic adventure!
Pandora Wyatt is the most complicated woman alive. Raised by a pirate captain, Dory risks exposure of her magic to free the only father she’s ever known from the Tower of London. But when she’s tied to a smoldering witch’s pyre, her powers aren’t enough to save her.
Ewan Brody is on a mission to deliver a traitor’s corpse to King Henry VIII when he rescues a beautiful spitfire from a horrific fate. Saving the lass’s life leads him on an adventure he never intended. Thrust together in the roles of husband and wife, they dodge royal intrigue, dark twists, and secrets as they attempt to find the true traitor at the Tudor court.
Magic and adventure spark, igniting a fire between Ewan and Dory, consuming them and tangling their hearts together forever. But to reach forever, they first need to survive the day.
Heather McCollum is an award winning, historical paranormal romance writer. She earned her B.A. in Biology from the University of Maine, much to her English professor’s dismay. She is a member of Romance Writers of America and was a 2009 Golden Heart Finalist. Ms. McCollum has four full length historical, paranormal romances released in both electronic and digital formats. She also has one short novella released in electronic format.
When she is not busy writing and answering calls of “Mom”, she can be found educating women about ovarian cancer. She is a teal warrior herself and just finished slaying the ovarian cancer beast.
She currently resides with her very own Highland hero and three spirited children in the wilds of suburbia on the mid-Atlantic coast.
More information about Ms. McCollum and her books can be found at www.HeatherMcCollum.com.
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